Cameron’s Ladder of Communication

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OK, this one is from the vault.  Originally came up with this back in 2007

  In the last article, I talked about the pros and cons of texting.  The cartoon in the post is frighteningly indicative of the dynamics and games that go into interaction. 

  You can read the article here: Pros & Cons of Texting.

 Then there are things that are annoying.  Everyone has pet peeves, and for me, the texting in reply to a phone call is one of them.  As I discovered, apparently, there are a lot of dudes who are annoyed by this behavior.  Cold-approach lends itself more to this, and some people just take laziness to new heights.

 Scenario: You call someone, leave a voicemail, and you get a text back saying:

“I saw you called.  I am busy shopping for pee-wee Herman doll replicas.  What’s up?”

Your inclination is to want to reply, “ I’ll take Information I didn’t need to know for $500 Alex.”   [Actually, I may have to try this, come to think of it.  For the international audience, this is a reference to long running American game show called Jeopardy.]

  And let’s be honest here: It’s not just girls who do this.  Some men do it as well, but with dudes, things are simpler because there is no dating involved.  To be fair, there are situations where a friend will text you because he is in a business meeting, out of the country, whatever.  I am not talking about that or any sort of rational logistical reasons. 

So was born The Cameron Ladder of Communication.

 Point of this article is to sort of show you how you can circumvent certain circumstances by establishing certain rules.  Adding a touch of humor enables you to make easier conversational banter and present the idea more casually.

  • How does it work?

 At some point during the conversation, the topic of “Dislikes” comes up.  (well, I may bring it up myself!)   So, obviously she mention s things she dislikes….   Then it’s my turn explain the ladder of communication.

 I have this thing called “Cameron’s ladder of communication…. It’s sort of patent pending regarding the proper order of answering messages.

Cameron’s ladder of communication:

  • Phone Call,
  • Text,
  • Myspace,  [I said it's from 2007.]
  • Regular Email.
  • Telegraph
  • Morse code.
  • Smoke signals

 

 Here is the thing.  It’s cool to be progressive, but it aint’ cool to go backwards.   Meaning if someone were to text you and you reply with a phone call, that’s fine. But then, if you received a text and respond back with Morse code, smoke signals or a pigeon for that matter, that’s a major violation of the ladder of communication.

  The idea, again, is to use a little bit of humor to get your point across. 

 This texting thing may not be your particular pet peeve.  You may have others.  Point is use this example, and learn how you can use a bit of humor to establish ground rules to circumvent situations that are undesirable.

  •   Why/How it may benefit YOU in your dating life:

While there are beneficial aspects to texting, it can also create a sort of stalemate at times where you’re not making progress. 

 In my experience, and I think it’s common sense, it’s far easier to get a girl to meet you for a FIRST date if you can talk to her for 15 to 20 minutes than texting back and forth incessantly.  (After the first date, dynamics change obviously.)   After a 15 minute conversation where you’re having banter and sharing witty repartee, you’re going to find it quite a natural transition to meet up in person for more fun. 

 If you’re constantly texting, sometimes you go down this weird path of exchanging electronic messages where you’re locked into this weird impersonal relationship.  At that point, it’s more difficult to get the person to meet you in person, or even to get a phone called established.  You want to avoid trying to organize that initial get-together through a plethora of texts going back and forth.

 Now, if you have trouble maintaining decent conversation on the phone, then maybe a 20 minute convo isn’t for you.  (You better be able to sustain some form of conversation on the actual date, if she does come to meet you.)

 Nevertheless, if you can understand this intricacies what I explained in the “Ladder of Communication,” you can use the formula to cover bases for your personal dislikes.  Think of it as a Pre-Emptive Strike! (And you thought nothing possibly good could have come from the Bush Admin!)  Hey, we became familiar with the phrase, preemptive  Strike!  Use it wisely.

 As a matter of fact, you can use this Pre-Emptive strike to preempt various issues that may come up! For example, you may have be a college student who lives at home, OR you may be a single parent.  The tendency of most people is to want to hide things and live in secrecy.  The aforementioned two examples are nothing to embarrassed about, although I can certainly understand the apprehensiveness.  Bring it up first!  Do the Preemptive strike, get it out of the way, establish a baseline. 

 Stay tuned for the next article where I’ll take this one step further in establishing code of conduct.

Enjoy

Cameron

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