How Archetypes Affect Your Dating Success, Part 1 [Alpha Females]


One of my most important moments of realization in dating dawned on me when I started to gain an understanding of archetypes of women.   It is seemingly so simplistic in nature that it ought to be common sense. Perhaps somewhere deep inside, we’ve always been somewhat aware but never gave it much thought.  Either way, people giving dating-advice don’t seem to teach it and they definitely do not talk about the specifics of it.  I had to learn it on my own and I am going to share some of that with you.

You too will have a moment of epiphany as well as relief the second you not only realize, but come to terms with the fact that your personality type will complement certain other personality types, and similarly, you’re not going to mesh well with certain other men/women.

In my last blog post, I talked about the cocky/funny concepts and how it just may be killing your chances with women.  If you haven’t read it, then take a few minutes to do that, and come back to this article in about 10 minutes.  (You might want to do that now…)

If you have read it, then let’s tie in some of the concepts I’ve been discussing together to sort of crystallize the information so that you have a working visual model that you can imagine applying to your life. One of my favorite concepts in this entire field is the issue of personality Archetypes.  So, let’s talk about the issue of cocky/funny and how it relates to the issue of personality types.

There are roughly about 10 various archetypes of women that a man is going to come across on a consistent basis, in my estimation.  What are these 10 archetypes and what are their tendencies? Well, that deserves an entire body of work on its own as.  However, to illustrate the how this concept manifests itself in real life, I am going to discuss a couple of them.

Out of these 10 various archetypes, there are 2 particular archetypes of women that respond well to the over-the-top cocky funny commentary.  The onus is on you to be able to distinguish the specific type of woman you’re interacting with.  This generally referred to as Calibration in the seduction community.  In layman’s terms, it simply means being able to read and gauge people and circumstances.

Let’s take judgment out of this equation and just talk about the behavior and values of the two archetypes that respond to this form of behavior.

  • First Archetype to discuss:   The Alpha-Female

What and who is the Alpha Female?  You’ll rarely encounter this archetype because, well, there simply aren’t that many of them around.  Don’t let the categorization fool ya.  Alpha-female is not meant to designate a female Rambo.  Also, while it’s a fact of life that there are some women who try to act “Bossy” and there are women who act like snobs, neither one falls under the category of  the Alpha Female.

  • So, let us examine the Characteristics of the Alpha Female:

Though usually the leader of the pack in female groups, you don’t often find them in such environments.  Interestingly enough, in my experience and observation, Alpha females are usually NOT hanging around large groups of women.  You’d never catch an alpha-female walking out of a club holding hands with another female friend.  It’s just stuff you don’t see.

They’re normally very independent and furthermore, they’re very proud of their independence.  Personal accomplishment is important to them.  They tend to have a decent amount of male friends.  (Note that there is also the perpetual lush/drunk bar chick archetype that seems to have a plethora of male friends and has slept with probably half of them, but that’s an entirely different archetype of woman, NOT to be mistaken for the alpha female.  Again, we’ll focus on deconstructing that archetype’s values/behavior on another day.)

Back to Alpha Females: They’re usually physical, have good physiques and enjoy  what’d normally be considered “Guy activities,” be it hitting the gym hard, riding motorcycles, hiking,  and etc…  This does not however mean that they’re not feminine.  Quite contrary, despite their rough exterior, they can be very feminine and enjoy “Girly Girl” things as well.  Unfortunately, this is the mistake most men make: They don’t understand that these are actually women who are also proud of being very feminine and still look to the man to lead.  They’re not lesbians nor are they bull-dykes.  (Is there a more politically correct way of explaining a bull-dyke?)

Anyhow, to ensure no one misconstrues what I am describing here, Rosie O’Donnell is NOT an alpha female.  On the other hand, Gina Carano very likely is.  (She is a female MMA Fighter who has gained some fame as of the past few years.  Featured below are two photographs of her.)

Notice the dichotomy between the photos!  The polarity of the “Masculine” activity (and it doens’t get much more masculine than cage-fighting) versus the very classical very sexy feminine look on the right.  You will observe that quite often with this type, as I described earlier.

They do respond to guy-humor which means they get “Harsh” humor and making fun of your buddies with over the top sarcasm.  This is not to advocate that you go up and blatantly insult them.  It’s that they appreciate what is referred to as, “Guy Humor.”  You can get away with jokes you wouldn’t otherwise pull off with other women.  To give you a concrete example:  This is the type of woman who’d watch Adam Sandler’s “I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry” flick  and laugh outloud with you.  (A movie which a lot of women don’t seem to generally like very much.)

The downside is that they can also be stubborn, a bit hardheaded and need a little bit of “their own space.”  They ARE affectionate, but they’re not clingy.  If you’re easily intimidated, you’re probably not going to get along well with this type.  Also, if you expect a woman to follow your every wish and command, you’re probably not going to get along well with this type.  If you expect a woman who is going to look to you for every decision in her life, you and this type will NOT get along.  Again, they do have that pride element and being independent is important to them.

Another pattern I’ve noticed is that they usually have a very good and positive relationships with their fathers or bigger brothers.  The issue of whether this happened because of a genetic predisposition or because of their upbringing deserves more attention.  I am not really sure if it’s a matter of causation or correlation; Probably a bit of both.  Obviously, being more athletic and participating in sports, they probably bonded better with their fathers and bigger brothers easier.

Generally, they’re very attracted to men who have a masculine vibe and very turned off by a feminine vibe from a man.  Of note, they’re usually fun to hang out with, and I can attest that they are normally REALLYYYY good in bed.

Some of this may seem confusing at first, but if you read the above a second time, you’re going to grasp what I am talking about.  If you’re the type of woman I just discussed, you’re probably reading this article &  thinking, Wow, it’s like you’ve known me all my life.”

I’ve gone out with a few such girls, and it seems like we usually hit it off pretty quickly.  This is one of my favorite archetypes of girls to date, fun, proud with low drama factor.   And then there are also certain other archetypes that I don’t really get along with very well.  Our personalities just don’t match and you’ll find the same for yourself.


So a quick recap of Alpha-Females:

  • Strong, Independent, Not seen in large female groups normally.
  • Tend to be more physical, enjoy “Guy” activities and humor, good in bed.
  • Also somewhat stubborn and very proud. Care about their own accomplishment.
  • Like masculine men, turned off by feminine men.
  • Normally, they have had  fantastic relationships with their fathers growing up.
  • Tend to appreciate a direct-approach, mixed in with a touch of humor.
  • Low drama factor

Biggest mistake men make with this type:

  • Thinking that she is a lesbian, or that she doesn’t have a “Girly-girl” feminine side.
  • Trying to beat around the bush regarding their intentions for too long.
  • Trying hard to impress using money, drugs, and parties….

How do you APPLY this information?

So let’s say you actually came across a woman whom you believed to be of the mentioned archetype.  (Or at least, that’s what your intuition/gut told ya.)  Having read this article, you know that a DIRECT-Approach would work well with her.  You’d also know that she’d enjoy sarcasm.  Furthermore, you’d know that if you are a bit effiminate, you most likely won’t have great chemistry.  On the same token, you also know that if you’re the type who wants a lapdog to be commanded and follow you around one step behind, this type is definitely not for you.

Knowing this information saves you from wasting time trying to make things work with girls you’re not naturally compatible, personality wise. It also provides a roadmap as to how to use the most effective method in approaching them.

OK, we are just getting started.  I have a lot more information to share.  For the moment, let’s recall that there is another archetype of woman that responds to sarcastic humor (and this type actually responds to the insult type humor as well).  She has completely different tendencies and values.  We’ll cover that one tomorrow……


PS.  The articles on this blog will have a profound impact on your dating life.  Please realize that they are supplementary and supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work.  Get a copy of my Ebook here: Building Attraction with Women