Seduction Community Pick Up Artists

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Received a rather lengthy comment to the last Blog entry on “The Ugly Truth” which deserves its own lengthy response.  By the way, yes, I’ve been lagging a bit behind on Blog posts.  It’s been a bit of a busy summer so I am going to pick up the pace here.  Got a lot of good stuff coming up.  So let’s get to the comment:

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Hi Cameron,

Love your blog. Wanted to ask your opinion…just looking at the pic of Gerard butler above in the movie cover pic and you see he is in good shape and dressed nicely…nothing weird or flashy, just dress shoes, decent jeans, collar shirt and blazer. Most of my buddies who get quality ass make money and more or less dress like this…I’m curious,,, why didnt the pua community ever promote dressing like this (which is clearly far superior than dressing like a clown)?

And while we are at it, I am truly curious…and if you dont feel like answering this then I understand…but how good are these puas in real life? I look at guys like matador, jdog etc and they just look weird and gay and Im sure they can pickup club leftovers but I have a hard time seeing them having nice normal girlfriends with quote un quote social value.
and mystery..while interesting, is he really good at walking into a nice setting with classy people and just banging the hottest girl or is he just banging some club trash? I mean, the guy calls himself the worlds greatest pua and he was making a big stink about banging some russian chick or something…some immigrant russian wannabe model club party chick certainly does not seem to me to be the pinnacle of dating high status women…

at the end of the day I have noticed a pattern, and while there are exceptions all over the place if you look hard, the pattern generally seems to hold…the guys who have their shit together (generally referring to having a career or seriously focusing on something worthwhile) and have a proper social circle and do cool things with this social circle never seem to lack pretty girls and are always meeting new ones through events etc.

maybe I am smoking crack, but if you have your shit together and a cool group of friends and are reasonably fit, the need for routines etc goes out the door and you have better and more ass than even the god mystery…

what is your take?

love your blog!

Theman

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 Hey “TheMan”

Your comment comes from an astute observation that it deserves its own blog entry.  (By the way, how about using a real first name, unless you have such a really uncommon name like Rumpelstiltskin.“)

  •  Firstly, why don’t the “PUA” types dress a bit more like guys who “Get a lot of ass” as you put it?

 I am not even sure where to start with that one.  It’s a combination of things.  It’s being socially mis-calibrated, not having a sense of what is cool to begin with, and engaging in too much mental masturbation over evolutionary psychology.  So you have that group of guys who start a trend and then new guys coming in are very impressionable so they follow suit.  We’re entitled to make our share of mistakes, and I certainly have made mine, but we ought to learn from them as well.  Dressing up like a poorly dressed gay guy or looking like a clown peacocking is not going to wash over well in normal society.  In a PUA gathering, you’ll be a big hit.  That this trend still continues to this day is a bit juvenile. 

 As for promoting that type of dressing: I don’t talk about fashion much in the Blog but I certainly advocate dressing up like you have your shit together.  Stephen Nash is someone who goes much more in depth regarding fashion and upgrading your wardrobe like someone who gets what he is doing.  Then again, I don’t consider myself a “PUA” and I am certain, neither does Stephen.

 And keep in mind, this becomes increasingly important as you get a bit older.  You can pull off something ridiculous in your early 20s because people give you more slack.  “Heck, he is 22….He is just a kid.”  That same outfit when you’re 32, is going leave people a bit befuddled. 

  • How good are these guys? 

Well, you just have to read between the lines as you read the Blog sometimes. ;-)  There is probably something useful you can learn from various teachers, but you have to be able to distinguish that 20% that is useful, and discard the 80% that is useless.  Keep in mind that most of the stuff is designed for a certain demographic of women.

These two Blog entries define that in detail.  If you have not read them, they’re a must-read.  If you have read them, it’d be beneficial to read them again.

Lastly, remember that the “Pick Up Girls” material is designed mainly for cold-approaches.  Cold-approaching is by far the toughest way to meet girls and by far the most inefficient.  A warm-approach in a social setting is going to be far superior due to basic laws of human nature.  Heck, I’ve even had situations where a girl really disliked me in a cold-approached situation thinking I am just an “Asshole.” 

 A few weeks later, we end up in the same social circle, and after a couple of weeks we’re pals and we all get along.  Then that same girl hinted that she wanted to go out with me after our repeated social interactions.  That all started with them disliking me in the initial cold-approach.  It’s just the way it goes.  People are suspicious of strangers a bit, and we do what we can to bypass that natural apprehensiveness, to create a sense of comfort and familiarity, but there is only so much that we can do in 5 minutes. 

 As for your buddies in the social circles, they sound like they’re cool guys with cool friends, who have their shit together.  Part of my emphasis on teaching the proper Attributes is to help guys become the proverbial “Cool Guys” who then attract Cool Friends, get invited to parties.  So I’d be amiss if I didn’t recommend my audio product at the end of all this. ;-)

 http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/audiocourse.shtml

 So, no you’re not smoking crack.  Well, if you are, it certainly doesn’t show from this particular comment.  Have your shit together, be reasonably fit, and meet your group of friends, is a good recipe.  I’d add that you ought to work on yourself to gain the necessary attributes, such as developing social intelligence, conversational skills, and the ability to have fun/project emotions.  Without the latter, you still struggle a bit even in social situations.

 As for “Mystery, Style” and the rest of the gang…. You really have to ask yourself a question.  I mean “You” as in every single person who gets involved with the seduction community.  Are you here to engage in some sort of a cult behavior and follow in the footsteps of your supreme leader?   OR are you hear to attract more women to you, have a better choice of girls to date and so forth?

 If it’s the latter, then absorb the information that’s useful to you, improve your skills, and forget about all the grandstanding and cultish behavior.  Focus on what’s beneficial to your life. Learn a few useful tips from those guys that you think may apply to you.  Figure out what type of Girls/Women you desire, and become a “Cooler” guy who naturally attracts the type of women you desire.