Phone Texts to Girls


The “Preferred Response Line”

 When you read dating advice, it’s important to keep things in perspective and be able to distinguish as to what represents your personality.  It’s also important to have fun and experiment based on your specific personality.

Personalities come in a wide range: Some people are a bit sarcastic, others have a very dry sense of humor, and hey, some people have no personality.

In the last article on texting, I discussed “Cameron Ladder of Communication.” That was just fun a little gimmick meant to act as a preemptive strike.  That may or may not fit your persona, but nevertheless, keep in mind the importance of a little experimentation.

Another thing that I started trying with texts was what I call the “Preferred Response Line.”   I’m sure some dating coaches or “Pick Up Artists” would call it a method of gaining compliance, but really for me, it was meant as a way not to have my time wasted.

You can use it to flirt and you can use it to establish boundaries.  Here is an example of a flirtatious one:

  • Example 1. [Flirting through Sexual Innuendo.]

Girl’s text to me:  Yada, yada, yada,  C.  [Note that she refers to me as “C”]

Me: You know, I’d prefer if you wrote my name out, and even more preferable,  if you MOANED it. ;-)

Her next text:  “Ok, Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam baby.”

The above example can also be categorized under a “How to Flirt” to article, but that’s not the focus right now.


It’s fun to flirt and create a sexual vibe.  Then I thought why not apply that sort of “Preferred” response to other areas.

  • Example 2:

Scenario:  I text a girl to invite her to a social “Happy-Hour” event on Wednesday .

-My text:  Hey, next Wed is blah, blah…  you should come with…. Etc, etc.

-She:  Not sure.  Let’s talk wed afternoon, and I’ll let you know.

-My text verbatim: OK, for future reference, the preferred response is, “that’s sounds fun.  I’d love to go with you Cameron :-)”

Here is the amazing part: Normally, it took this particular girl about 10-15 min to return a text.  It was weird, as though she had some sort of an egg-timer on her oven that she set to 15 minutes before she could return a text.    So it was surprising to see a reply back from her within 30 seconds.   Maybe she lost her egg-timee?   It definitely broke her normal sms-text pattern.

She:  I’d love to go with you Cameron!

Nice, this is awesome!  Wish I would have started asking for preferred response sooner.


So is there a point?  Well, I guess if there had to be one, it’s learn to ask for what the fuck you want and don’t be so ashamed about it.  Establish a standard for yourself and stick with it.

  • 3rd example:

A Girl I’ve met has a weird work schedule.  Needs to make plans in advance.  I’m cool with that. She really likes advance plans though.

We’re planning a date for next Tuesday.  It’s only wed right now, so this is really advanced planning.  It’s a bit out of the norm for me. Let’s resume the texting at that point of the plan:

Me:  Sounds good. Tuesday eve works for both of us.

She: OK.  Why don’t we talk on Mon.

Me:  That’s not really my style, babe. I’d like to see you on Tue if you are free.  Otherwise…..

She: That’s not my style either….   Tue sounds good!


Really???  That’s not her style?  Sure could have fooled me.

Men and women both play games.  Sometimes women feel compelled to play these games and if you befriend girls, they’ll admit so much to you.  They’ll literally tell you things you always suspected, such as, “I’m going to wait 3 days to call him back” or “I didn’t kiss him even though I REALLY wanted to.”

(Sidebar: Again, why it’s important to have female friends.  It gives you a perspective into their world as well.)

It’s not always malicious nor is it sinister, but it is the way it is.  The burden of circumventing this issue falls on your shoulders.   Again, you’re the man, you have the masculine energy, you take charge, and YOU LEAD!

Will this ALWAYS work perfectly?  Not necessarily.  Then again, this is not MEANT as a tactic or a means to be slick.  It’s meant to be a code of conduct, the way you live your life, exemplified in the manned in which you carry yourself.

By doing this, you build strength from the inside.  This goes back to theme of building that foundational strength, which is an absolute must-read article on this blog:  Strength is Generated from Within.

The “preferred response line” is a bit tactical.  I’m giving you what is basically a maneuver to implement as part of a strategy to use to create the results you want.  I shared it with another dating-coach, one of the very few whose knowledge I respect,  and he had fantastic results with it as well.

However, always remember that this bit of strategy is just one piece in a greater picture, and that greater picture is establishing ground rules for what you will or will not tolerate. It’s also the ground rules for taking the lead in this situations to short-circuiting the game playing that goes on in dating a bit.

There is one more piece to this puzzle that I’m going to explain thoroughly in the next blog post.  It’s going to clear a lot of the confusion you’ve been having in the Dating-World.. It’ll provide clarity, good feelings, and may even curl your toes.

For the time being, apply the preferred response as you see fit.  I’d prefer if you left a comment telling me the results you’ve been having with it. ;-)


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