Pros & Cons of Indifference in Dating (Part 2)

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In part 1, (Understanding Indifference in DATING,) I discussed how Indifference works in attracting women, and what the requirements are.  In this part, we’re going to tackle the next two questions.

  • How does Indifference Backfire?
  • What type of Women best respond to this?

In the following segments, I’ll discuss the drawbacks .

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3.  How does Indifference Backfire?

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I’ll illustrate through a likely scenario you can relate to:

You call a girl on Tuesday, and invite her to some event this coming Saturday.  She tells you, “Not sure.  Let’s talk on Friday.”  Now, if you have gotten this reply, (and if you’ve interacted with a lot of girls, chances are you’re cringing right now) because you know that the odds of this whole thing coming together just plummeted faster than Enron Stock.

As I explained in the last article, that reply from her translates into: “You’re the backup plan.  I’ll go out with you last minute if nothing else better comes up between now and then.

So what would Mr. Indifference dating-coach advise you?  The indifference advice is to not care.  And just forget about it, and invite them to something else the following week nonchalantly.  Just extend an invite and forget about it.  Or perhaps better option next time:  Mr. Indifference would say that you shouldn’t even ask them out.

Just issue invites every so often.    So, you ought to just send a text telling her, “Hey, going to bar Y, or Event X on Friday.  You should go.  It’ll be fun.”

She may or may not come.  Either way, you’ve lost nothing.  Hey, all you’ve done is just send invites out.  This is a viable strategy and it can work.  More noteworthy, it works well with specific types of women.  (I’ll come back to that later.)

Here is the key and what you have you to understand:   You just dragged that interaction to gamesmanship.  Now, it’s a chess game.  Who is going to invite whom, and who’ll show.  Invite her, she either shows up or not.

Repeat same pattern next week.  But remember kids, don’t call. Don’t show you care, drink your milk, eat your vitamins, and keep your power.  You’re full fledged involved in playing games back and forth.

You have just encountered one of the drawbacks of “Indifference.”  You have created a gamesmanship playing field, and some people do enjoy that.  You’ve created a social dynamic in which you’re waiting to see who is going to cave in first, and give in to the attrition.

Others are too busy and don’t have the time or the patience.  Where do you fall in?

Furthermore, here are a slew of problems with the pattern of behavior you’ve chosen:

  • What if you actually like to go on a somewhat traditional date?
  • What if you are not a big fan of bars?
  • Even more, what if you don’t want to have a first date at a bar?
  • Even more important, what if you like the type of women who are bar hoppers?

Well, you’re sort of fucked.  Issue out invites and some will show, some won’t.

While this may be functional for a non-discriminatory “Get-laid” system, it may not be what you seek exactly (or at what so ever.)

So I say, find a better way!  I say, forget the, “Live in fear of giving your power away.”  This may not be your attitude and that’s fine.  If you are however uninterested in going back and forth, then you have to have standards and expect some accountability.

Hence this article: Understanding Indifference versus Accountability.

By establishing a certain standard of what behavior you tolerate and which behaviors you refuse to tolerate, you circumvent this circular time consuming level of gamesmanship.  You take the attitude of, “I do what I say, and I say what I mean.”

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4.  What type of women does Indifference best work on?

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What about pure indifference as it’s taught?  Surely, you’ve read advice that has instructed you to act like you don’t care about her or women in general, ever!  TWO key points about pure indifference that you ought to remember:

Point 1:     The pure indifference  “Don’t ever show you care” advice is ONLY designed to GET YOU A PIECE OF ASS! It is NOT designed to allow you to connect with another human being, because you’ve most likely dragged the interaction down to gamesmanship.  So if you want a cool girl to date or if you want a girlfriend, you just threw it all away.

Point 2:    That advice is also NOT designed to get you a quality woman of high value. A quality girl with high self-esteem is going to want to know & feel that she is somewhat valued by the guy she is dating.  Remember, she’s got a lot of choices too.

Having said that, I’ll again concede that certain women respond well to that pure indifference.  If this is all you ever do, then you’ll find unequivocally that Club-skanks, certain party chicks, and socialites respond well to this type of behavior.

Why is that so?

OK, if you must know why, If you MUST KNOW the reason, if your analytical part of your brain is begging to KNOW…. I’ll tell you in the next article.  (Just teasing on the last note.)

Here is the reason:  The archetypes of women I just mentioned are mostly EXTERNALLY VALIDATED. When you withhold that external validation, it fucks with their system, to put it scientifically.

The reason it does not work well with high QUALITY women is because they have some sort of an INTERNAL source of validation (not to be mistaken with ego).  Their internal source of validation can come from a variety of sources: It may be higher education, or  it could be something as simple as that they joined some volunteer organization to do some good.  The origin of the source is somewhat irrelevant.

Key is realizing that they have some source of personal pride.  Hence, they TOO, have standards regarding how they want to be treated.  (Just like I advised you in the Accountability article.  They apply to the same mindset as well.)

So when such gurus say, “Be completely indifferent,” what they really mean is “Be indifferent to the QUALITY of woman you’re going to get.  You may get some trashy insecure invalid to ride your pogo stick, but that’s how it goes.”

  • This is where you have to make a conscious decision!

You have to think about what sort of relationships you want and with what sort of a woman.  If your chief goal is to stick your cock into a random vagina, then that pure-indifference may work well.  If you’re looking to get a girlfriend, and you want your girlfriend to be a quality person whom you can respect, then you have to part ways with the mindset of complete indifference.

The conscious decision you make has to factor in that the behavior which you exude will attract/repel certain type of people, in the same manner that the people whom you choose to call friends ultimately speak volumes about who you are.

As far as indifference is concerned, now you understand  why it works, how it works, what type of women it’ll get you, and what sort of scenarios it’s best suited for.   (Btw, I may have just saved you over 5000 Dollars, but keep that between us.)

Cameron

(And yes, the following Ebook, Building Attraction Secrets,will change your dating life for the better)