How Archetypes Affect Your Dating Success, Part 1 [Alpha Females]
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One of my most important moments of realization in dating dawned on me when I started to gain an understanding of archetypes of women. It is seemingly so simplistic in nature that it ought to be common sense. Perhaps somewhere deep inside, we’ve always been somewhat aware but never gave it much thought. Either way, people giving dating-advice don’t seem to teach it and they definitely do not talk about the specifics of it. I had to learn it on my own and I am going to share some of that with you.
You too will have a moment of epiphany as well as relief the second you not only realize, but come to terms with the fact that your personality type will complement certain other personality types, and similarly, you’re not going to mesh well with certain other men/women.
In my last blog post, I talked about the cocky/funny concepts and how it just may be killing your chances with women. If you haven’t read it, then take a few minutes to do that, and come back to this article in about 10 minutes. (You might want to do that now…)
If you have read it, then let’s tie in some of the concepts I’ve been discussing together to sort of crystallize the information so that you have a working visual model that you can imagine applying to your life. One of my favorite concepts in this entire field is the issue of personality Archetypes. So, let’s talk about the issue of cocky/funny and how it relates to the issue of personality types.
There are roughly about 10 various archetypes of women that a man is going to come across on a consistent basis, in my estimation. What are these 10 archetypes and what are their tendencies? Well, that deserves an entire body of work on its own as. However, to illustrate the how this concept manifests itself in real life, I am going to discuss a couple of them.
Out of these 10 various archetypes, there are 2 particular archetypes of women that respond well to the over-the-top cocky funny commentary. The onus is on you to be able to distinguish the specific type of woman you’re interacting with. This generally referred to as Calibration in the seduction community. In layman’s terms, it simply means being able to read and gauge people and circumstances.
Let’s take judgment out of this equation and just talk about the behavior and values of the two archetypes that respond to this form of behavior.
- First Archetype to discuss: The Alpha-Female
What and who is the Alpha Female? You’ll rarely encounter this archetype because, well, there simply aren’t that many of them around. Don’t let the categorization fool ya. Alpha-female is not meant to designate a female Rambo. Also, while it’s a fact of life that there are some women who try to act “Bossy” and there are women who act like snobs, neither one falls under the category of the Alpha Female.
- So, let us examine the Characteristics of the Alpha Female:
Though usually the leader of the pack in female groups, you don’t often find them in such environments. Interestingly enough, in my experience and observation, Alpha females are usually NOT hanging around large groups of women. You’d never catch an alpha-female walking out of a club holding hands with another female friend. It’s just stuff you don’t see.
They’re normally very independent and furthermore, they’re very proud of their independence. Personal accomplishment is important to them. They tend to have a decent amount of male friends. (Note that there is also the perpetual lush/drunk bar chick archetype that seems to have a plethora of male friends and has slept with probably half of them, but that’s an entirely different archetype of woman, NOT to be mistaken for the alpha female. Again, we’ll focus on deconstructing that archetype’s values/behavior on another day.)
Back to Alpha Females: They’re usually physical, have good physiques and enjoy what’d normally be considered “Guy activities,” be it hitting the gym hard, riding motorcycles, hiking, and etc… This does not however mean that they’re not feminine. Quite contrary, despite their rough exterior, they can be very feminine and enjoy “Girly Girl” things as well. Unfortunately, this is the mistake most men make: They don’t understand that these are actually women who are also proud of being very feminine and still look to the man to lead. They’re not lesbians nor are they bull-dykes. (Is there a more politically correct way of explaining a bull-dyke?)
Anyhow, to ensure no one misconstrues what I am describing here, Rosie O’Donnell is NOT an alpha female. On the other hand, Gina Carano very likely is. (She is a female MMA Fighter who has gained some fame as of the past few years. Featured below are two photographs of her.)
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Notice the dichotomy between the photos! The polarity of the “Masculine” activity (and it doens’t get much more masculine than cage-fighting) versus the very classical very sexy feminine look on the right. You will observe that quite often with this type, as I described earlier.
They do respond to guy-humor which means they get “Harsh” humor and making fun of your buddies with over the top sarcasm. This is not to advocate that you go up and blatantly insult them. It’s that they appreciate what is referred to as, “Guy Humor.” You can get away with jokes you wouldn’t otherwise pull off with other women. To give you a concrete example: This is the type of woman who’d watch Adam Sandler’s “I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry” flick and laugh outloud with you. (A movie which a lot of women don’t seem to generally like very much.)
The downside is that they can also be stubborn, a bit hardheaded and need a little bit of “their own space.” They ARE affectionate, but they’re not clingy. If you’re easily intimidated, you’re probably not going to get along well with this type. Also, if you expect a woman to follow your every wish and command, you’re probably not going to get along well with this type. If you expect a woman who is going to look to you for every decision in her life, you and this type will NOT get along. Again, they do have that pride element and being independent is important to them.
Another pattern I’ve noticed is that they usually have a very good and positive relationships with their fathers or bigger brothers. The issue of whether this happened because of a genetic predisposition or because of their upbringing deserves more attention. I am not really sure if it’s a matter of causation or correlation; Probably a bit of both. Obviously, being more athletic and participating in sports, they probably bonded better with their fathers and bigger brothers easier.
Generally, they’re very attracted to men who have a masculine vibe and very turned off by a feminine vibe from a man. Of note, they’re usually fun to hang out with, and I can attest that they are normally REALLYYYY good in bed.
Some of this may seem confusing at first, but if you read the above a second time, you’re going to grasp what I am talking about. If you’re the type of woman I just discussed, you’re probably reading this article & thinking, “Wow, it’s like you’ve known me all my life.”
I’ve gone out with a few such girls, and it seems like we usually hit it off pretty quickly. This is one of my favorite archetypes of girls to date, fun, proud with low drama factor. And then there are also certain other archetypes that I don’t really get along with very well. Our personalities just don’t match and you’ll find the same for yourself.
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So a quick recap of Alpha-Females:
- Strong, Independent, Not seen in large female groups normally.
- Tend to be more physical, enjoy “Guy” activities and humor, good in bed.
- Also somewhat stubborn and very proud. Care about their own accomplishment.
- Like masculine men, turned off by feminine men.
- Normally, they have had fantastic relationships with their fathers growing up.
- Tend to appreciate a direct-approach, mixed in with a touch of humor.
- Low drama factor
Biggest mistake men make with this type:
- Thinking that she is a lesbian, or that she doesn’t have a “Girly-girl” feminine side.
- Trying to beat around the bush regarding their intentions for too long.
- Trying hard to impress using money, drugs, and parties….
How do you APPLY this information?
So let’s say you actually came across a woman whom you believed to be of the mentioned archetype. (Or at least, that’s what your intuition/gut told ya.) Having read this article, you know that a DIRECT-Approach would work well with her. You’d also know that she’d enjoy sarcasm. Furthermore, you’d know that if you are a bit effiminate, you most likely won’t have great chemistry. On the same token, you also know that if you’re the type who wants a lapdog to be commanded and follow you around one step behind, this type is definitely not for you.
Knowing this information saves you from wasting time trying to make things work with girls you’re not naturally compatible, personality wise. It also provides a roadmap as to how to use the most effective method in approaching them.
OK, we are just getting started. I have a lot more information to share. For the moment, let’s recall that there is another archetype of woman that responds to sarcastic humor (and this type actually responds to the insult type humor as well). She has completely different tendencies and values. We’ll cover that one tomorrow……
Cameron
PS. The articles on this blog will have a profound impact on your dating life. Please realize that they are supplementary and supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work. Get a copy of my Ebook here: Building Attraction with Women
Excelent post, man! This is something that is often overlooked. No matter how cool and confident you are, there are certain personality types that are compatible as well as others that just won’t mix well with you.
Wow, that was terrific! You’ve just described me to a T. :)
Of course! I know my archetypes, Bonita ;-)
Actually, it’d be awesome if you could describe to the readers how some of these characteristics relate to you personally.
Cameron
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I just loved the first part of this series…Alpha Females, the name sounds very dominant nonetheless. They are woman of the women, and they need man of the men.
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I always thought I was weird, and many girls have thought I was a lesbian…I’m not! I could never figure myself out, but holy heck…you just figured me out for me! I didn’t know we were so rare to come by, but then again, I should have guessed since I’ve never met anyone like myself before. And I thought it strange that I don’t have any female friends. Thank you so much for describing me so well! It really IS like you’ve known me my whole life!!! And just FYI, as a little girl, I did have a great relationship with my dad, my uncles, and my boy cousins! I loved doing all the “boy” activities they did (e.g. fishing, biking, hiking, camping).
You are right on with this article! Kudos!!! :)
Kat was her name, boxing and drawing were some of her interests. all dudes at her lunch table and sarcastic humor. broke up with me, didnt now exactly why. maybe she mistook my younger age for feminism. she might be in the airforce now.
Came upon this site as I have recently been described as an Alpha Female by a few people and wanted to learn more about it. I wish I’d figured this out years ago – would have saved me a lot of agida. Your descriptions are spot on. (e.g. lots of male buddies, my male colleagues can say things to me that make me laugh but might offend other women, I only wear dresses and skirts, people have told me for years that I’m intimidating to men (and some women), natural leadership qualities, no patience for weak men – very attracted to strong men, independent to a fault). Good post, I’m going to look around your site more.
Hello there, I discovered your site by the use of Google even as looking for a comparable topic, your internet site came up, it seems wonderful. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
I always thought I was weird because it felt as if I were a tomb boy on the inside and a girly girl on the outside. It’s just like L said, I only wear dresses and skirts and make sure I look good. But then I’m exactly as described in the article. Except for I’m not that into sports, but I do join the boys in videogames and other stuff.
From spending a lot of time with guys, I pretty much anticipate everything a man is doing when he’s interested in me. But I stick to the game and pretend otherwise -unless I’m not interested-. And I have to say it’s def a turn off when I can tell a guy hesitates on making a move. It shows insecurity, and sometimes I just want to yell F***ING COME ON! It really gets on my nerves because I know that if I’m the one making the move I’ll probably scare him. But I do lead the conversation without him even knowing. That’s fun. Plus I always use sarcasm, and if he don’t realize he’s out.
Great article and blog, I’ll keep reading :)
Just be careful. Also emotional vampires may present themselves as Alpha’s. However, they are insecure, the low-self-esteem type who will sleep around – for attention and ego-boost, not for the pleasure… they are simply insane!
I stumbled across your site as I was looking for tips on how to be more nurturing. Your post was great! The only part different about me was, as I’ve gotten older and after being divorced, I’m truly working very very very hard to be submissive. I have to say that I have been described as weird and rough and still to this day have to control the urge to wrestle with my boyfriend. I am extremely proud of my independence, don’t really like clubs, I get a kick out of predicting what a man is going to say as he approaches, I’m very direct and generally dismiss people who beat around the bush, never felt like I’ve fit in anywhere (outside of family), my granddad, daddy and bro are my best friends, etc. Your post has described me so well that I am truly shocked!!! BRAVO
I came across your site after being told again I was an Alpha Female and needed information. I found myslef on your page. As a retired United Staes Marine mostly all my friends are males. I have always had a problem fitting in with other women and have been independent since childhood. I love I married a man that understands me and encourages my independance and is not bothered by my male friends. Yes I am close with Pops, Grandpapa and brothers. I have never been ashamed of the two sides of me or concerned others often did not understand the kick ass side of me contained in a girly package. I am who I am but it was nice to hear I am not the only one. Your Post rocked my world now I am going to go find my husband and rock his. I will be reading more!!!!
I can identify with much of the points here. The only difference is, I tend to gravitate towards more effeminate guys rather than the “macho” types. I tend to clash with dominating, controlling types, who are often hell-bent on trying to force me into a more docile/hyperfeminine mindset in order for their ‘masculinity’ to contrast more starkly.
“Like masculine men, turned off by feminine men.”
Masculine men are turned off by feminine men? They like their men manly? haha j/k
This part actually isn’t always true. There are some of alpha-females who are attracted to men who have a sligh effeminate elements. This seems generally true of all women. Cassinova, Rudolph Valentino, prince and many more were quite feminine and loved by women and hated by men. That’s not to say that women are attracted to limp wristed sissies but that there is something alluring about gender blur.