How to Spot Promiscuous Women
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Oh, how I have another simply awesome blog article for ya. This time, it’s about tell-tale signs that a girl you’re chatting with in this Bar/Nightclub is promiscuous and will sleep with you pretty quickly.
A little backdrop as to what inspired this article: I am hanging with some pals and a friend of a friend is talking about how he’d like to just once try having a one night stand with a girl he met at a bar. Just once, he’d like to walk in, meet a girl and take her home. That’s what he tells me!
This is a big deal to him, and while I don’t think of this as some accomplishment, it dawns on me that most men have never done something like this. To some guys, the completion of this task holds some form of validation. So, I am going to provide a few tips on some of the secrets of what guys who are good at this are able to do.
Its significance and what it means to you personally “to accomplish this” is between you and your therapist.
Realize the irony of the situation: Women are under the impression that any guy can walk into a busy nightclub filled with drunks and pull someone home. They’ll advise you, “Hey, just walk into a bar and you can get laid.” Why do they believe that? Why does their life experience indicate that? Because their impressions are formed from the 20-30% of men who ever approach them in these environments. Now, some of these guys are smooth operators, and some are just aggressive belligerent drunk idiots and play the numbers until they find that straggler. (See Limping Gazelle game on this blog for reference.)
However, keep in mind that female impressions are formed by the guys that do approach them, not by the majority who sit & look at them from afar. (Which constitutes 80% of men.)
What if you’re one of those guys who has a dream to have a same-night lay? (Let’s hope it’s not your only dream, but one of those things you want to “accomplish” like the guy I mentioned above.)
Even though I barely go to bars/clubs anymore, I’ll throw some pearls of wisdom at ya, and what you do with it is your responsibility. An important part of having one night stands comes down approaching the proper type of woman who has made it a habit to do this sort of thing. Granted, there have been times where I’ve met a girl and it led to us sleeping together rather quickly because we had amazing chemistry. That can happen. However, you are not loitering at bars seeking for that one individual with amazing chemistry, and let’s face it: You’re in a f**king nightclub. Most of the people in there aren’t that worthwhile for relationships.
Hence, screening for the proper type is one of the most important parts of the process. This is a huge part of the puzzle most men miss, and it’s one that “Players” intuitively understand.
In my recent visit to Phoenix, my buddy Jon and I had a fun conversation comparing notes as to what mannerisms these type of girls display. This goes back to the archetype stuff I’ve been talking about consistently throughout this blog.
Again, people (male as well as female) fall into various archetypes. Those archetypes always consistently display the same behavioral patterns. By identifying the behavioral patterns, we can work backwards to identify the archetype. Think of it as reverse engineering.
Simply put: Promiscuous girls you run into every weekend at bars have certain habits, mannerisms, vernacular, and behaviors that give them away.
Knowing this information helps you in two ways:
- Look for the type that is readily available in bars/nightclubs to sleep around with anyone (including you.). Important distinction is: Don’t think you’re special. You’re one of many.
. - Help you cut your losses early & move on if you’re NOT interested in certain types, particularly the likes of ones who come with drama, are just completely dysfunctional.
The second point is just as important. You may be seeking a relationship. It’s extremely important to be able to weed out women who are not suitable for you as well. I am going to address this further in the next article.
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Addendum for those who have reading comprehension issues in the comments section of this article: The article does not imply that promiscuous women are “Bad” people. However, SOME of these women (such as drama-addicts) are toxic individuals to have around in your life, and I have specifically noted those.
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Signs that the girl you’re talking with in the bar is promiscuous:
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- Tells you about often & repeated bouts of drunken debauchery.
“Oh, wow, I was so wasted last weekend, and then got hammered again last night on a Wednesday…. And I have to recover for a party this coming Friday.”
Not an isolated incident but a repeated pattern. Also safe to say, you can probably assume this is not a career-minded person either. This girl sleeps around, and may leave with you. You may have to endure alcohol breath and drunken antics…. but chances are higher she’ll leave with you come last call.
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- Has a lot of guy friends. Does not get along with other girls. (Credit this one to Jon)
Always competing for attention, has trouble maintaining friendships with women. Has lots of guy friends, has hooked up with many of them. (One notable exception to the rule above, I’d like to add: “Alpha-Females”, the athletic “Tomboy” types, but they’re a different breed and more rare to find. Do a search on this blog and you can read all about “Alpha Females” on as well.) As a side-note, most alpha-females don’t frequent nightclubs too often.
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- Refers to her girlfriends as Bitches, causally.
Example: “Hey bitches, what’s the plan tonight?”
To me, this is perhaps the greatest tell-tale sign of a girl who is not only promiscuous, but also attention seeking. I don’t think it has ever failed. Someday, I may run into one exception, but it has not occurred yet. Please note the word bitch is used casually. (Not used in hostility or judgment.)
The amazing (and yet frightening) thing about the casual usage of the word “Bitch” is that it is cross-generational. I’ve seen 22 year old girls do it, and I’ve been to that Cougar-bar in Manhattan Beach and have seen 40 year old females use it. Same exact behavior pattern, stemming from the same exact personality type. They’re also the type to avoid, if you want someone of substance. As I said, more on that later.
As soon as you hear that casual reference, “You bitches look cute tonight,” you already know this chick sleeps around, and most likely, so do all of her friends, including the married ones!!
This is also an immediate sign of a woman you’d never want to pursue a relationship with. (Not because they’re promiscuous, but rather because you’ll find that they’re self-absorbed and very drama prone. Research your own experience.)
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- Tries to talk tough and ghetto.
Example: “I would have fucked her up” or “I’d have knocked out that bitch.”
Fill in the blanks here. You already know who you’re dealing with.
PS. That’s a double whammy, as she used the word bitch and talked tough. (And we’re talking about White chicks here.)
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- Uses overly dramatic & yet emotionally-empty phrases often,
“I missed you girlie. You’re so the best! I love you guys so much…. “
The usage of emotional hyperbole in casual conversation denotes a promiscuous girl. Basically, it’s like this: You see these plastered on a Facebook page and within 10 seconds, you already know the score… (because you read my awesome article.) Just an extra free tip from me when you’re cruising through social media postings.
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- Cigarette Smoking – Credit Jon for this one.
This is Jon’s greatest tell-tale sign. There is a correlation between risk taking behavior and promiscuity. If she is willing to kill her to blow puff to look cool, she is willing to do a lot of other things. I am not sure how this would correlate in Europe for example, but it definitely applies in the United States where smoking is hugely frowned upon, and specially in California.
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- The Skank tonality.
One of my favorites to joke about. I don’t even have to see the person’s face sometimes. If I hear the skank-tonality from behind, I know the type.
It’s difficult to describe that on paper, but these girls sound like every sentence has a question mark at the end of it, and they drag the last word. “Like, oh my gosh, that is sooo weiiiiiiiiiiiird????” (weird would sound like “We-Eeeeeerdd?” It sounds like a question, but it’s not. It’s a statement. There was an episode of the TV show “Family Guy”: where little Stewie points this out regarding a girl Brian the dog is dating. (If you’ve seen that episode, then you exactly know what skank tonality is.)
If you hear that speech pattern, you immediately know two things within a few seconds:
1. Girls sleeps around a lot.
2. May not be gainfully employed.
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- Drama. This is huge! She is telling you about drama.
“My friend Lisa broke up with her boyfriend, was late to the post office, ran over a cow, had to move out, missed her paycheck, which was eaten by the cow she ran over, that cow was turned into steak, and gave me indigestion because of the paycheck it had eaten……. Well, I really think Lisa PLANNED All of this to get back at me since she is so jealous of me.”
It never ends…. The drama with her will never end………
I am going to cover “Drama” in the next article, regarding girls you want to run AWAY from. However, when you’ve heard that dramatic story, you KNOW you’ve met someone who’ll sleep with you quickly if that’s what you seek. This type is also a toxic personality to have around. (Reading challenged critics, take note.) If you’re at a place in life where you seek a meaningful relationship with a cool woman, run for the hills if you hear drama stories.
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- Inner Thigh touch-
Jon really wanted to add this one. I suppose it’s an obvious on some level, and it’s not something you’d experience right away, but a lot of guys are sometimes clueless. If her hand should brush your inner thigh during the convo, well, it’s pretty much a done deal.
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- Girls who utter the words you, “I hate Drama”.
“Oh, my, Gosh! I hate drama! Like, I am so over drama.”
Usually, it’s the girl above whose friend’s paycheck was eaten by the cow telling you this. Girls who don’t have drama, don’t say “I hate drama” because it does not occur to them. Now, if you’re the girl above, you deal with it on a daily basis, so the topic is always fresh on your mind. Since it’s prevalent in your life, you make point to mention it in conversation.
So FYI: As soon as you hear (or read) the following words from a girl: “I hate drama” or “I am so over all this drama,” you know 3 things:
- This girl has lots of drama.
- She’ll be telling about it often, if you see her more than once. (Poison for a relationship.)
- She’ll sleep with you pretty quickly. Yep.
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- She tells you, “I’m trying to be good.”
I don’t even know where to start with this one. This could be the girl who had to move out of a small town at some point because she was basically ran out. (yes, I’ve met them,) If someone is trying to change his/her ways, They don’t say “I am TRYING to be good.” They just do it. This is like your buddy who is over-weight telling you he is trying to lose weight….. for the past 3 years. You get the idea pal…
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- She mentions Drugs.
Talking about drugs, Ecstasy, Cocaine, Speed, is also a sign of girls who sleep around. Unfortunately, with these girls, it goes beyond sex for just pleasure. Sometimes, it’s having sex to GET the drugs for free. And by the way, if you hear “Heroine”, run away. Don’t walk. Run. (Can’t speak from personal experience but I’ve seen enough cracked out people.)
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- She tells you, “I don’t date.”
“I just don’t date. I am over the dating thing. I am taking a break from it.”
Jon pointed out this one, and man, it’s true!
That’s fine! If you had your cute Star Trek universal translator, what you’d really hear is, “I sleep around, and then complain that I can’t have decent relationships. I’ll sleep with you too IF you’re very sexual with me.”
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- Self-Proclaimed Bitches
“Oh, I am just a bitch”
Girls who tell you in a proud manner, “Oh, I am just a bitch” are promiscuous as well, and also have toxic personalities. This is usually a cry for attention and attempts to claw at holding on self-grandeur. (Mainly because it doesn’t take any talent or hard-work to be rude.) Nevertheless, you know she sleeps around. (Credit Jon for this one as well.) Having read my blog, when you hear this phrase, you already know the score. These girls are also toxic for relationships.
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- It’s closing Time AND She is still around.
Yep, it’s 2 AM (Nightclub just closed), people are loitering outside and there they are: Drunk and walking around in circles. I picked up on this in the period I was going to clubs often, probably because, I was the ONLY sober person at the time. In my experience, quality women don’t frequent nightclubs on a weekly basis and if they go to celebrate a friend’s birthday, they’re usually out of there sometime around midnight or 12:30 AM. It’s a strange phenomenon and now you’ll notice it too. They sort of vanish. You had a nice conversation, she seemed really cool and poof, an hour later she disappeared. What you have at 2 am is often the underachiever who is also promiscuous. I used to know dudes who stayed home til 1:30 in the morning then rolled out to the clubs at closing time just for that reason….. The fact that she is simply STILL there at closing time is often a sign as well…..
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Subtleties:
And then we get to the really subtle stuff. You spend enough time talking to girls, you hone your eyes and ears and cute little subtle phrases tell you that they are promiscuous. These are tiny phrases that most people completely miss. They seem innocent and completely in the norm, but I catch them, and now, so will you.
Example: “I Know, right???”
That phrase above, said with a certain flare and tone equals girls who will sleep with you pretty quickly. Now, they say the phrase frequently, so if you’re tuned in, you’ll recognize it.
Some random individual will read that at some point and say, “Oh come on! How can you determine someone’s sexual behavior from a few phrases, or sentences?” And the short answer it that I am just good at identifying people’s characters and behaviors.
Keep in mind that, the above individuals display the same type of demeanor and body language as well. If you know screen properly, then you have isolated the right type who will leave with you. Now, it’s a matter of attracting them, and having the proper logistics. Is there an after party? Inviting her back to your house? You have to provide the logistics! This is information guys you deem as “Players” intuitively know. Look for this type, have a bit of fluff conversation, it’s closing time, and hey, let’s have a little after-party.
Congrats. You now know information that only a small percentage of men are privy to. They may know it intuitively having never broken down consciously, but these are the subtle clues they use to determine the right type. In the next article, I am going to talk about how to use above information to AVOID certain personality types who will be toxic to your life. You may be a guy who has his life together but not too skilled with women. Dating women who love snorting cocaine, who bring drama and then spend countless house telling you how much they hate it, is a terrible idea. Stay tuned…… for the next article How To Spot Promiscuous Girls Part 2
Cameron
PS. The articles on this blog will have a profound impact on your dating life. Please realize that they are supplementary and supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work. Get a copy of my Ebook here: Building Attraction Ebook
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Addendum 2:
This article seems to be elicit strong reactions. It’s based on personal experiences and observations at nightclubs. Keep in mind, I’ve dated girls who have (By common American standards) had a high number of sexual partners. However, they did not have the toxic aforementioned drama-filled lives. They were just cool girls whom I dated for a while. They certainly weren’t having sex for validation or to score cocaine from some dude at a bar. This seems to be more prevalent in Europe than in the U.S.
On that same note, I’ve gone on FIRST dates where I ended up sleeping with those girls that very first night. I also ended up dating many of those same girls for quite a while. (Not random bar hook ups). You’ll hear this common philosophy from guys often regarding every girl, “Hey man, if she is doing it with you, then she is doing that everyone, she has no standards.” I chose to attribute it to great chemistry. Yes, it’s self-indulgent, but if you’re confident in yourself, you can choose to just as easily believe that she did it because she found you attractive for various reasons, not because she has no standards. Why take the low self-esteem route that you’re just like every other man she has dated? Why not take the high self-esteem route that she has super high standards. (In part 2 of the article, I do cover the Lumberg effect) Keep in mind, this wasn’t a random night-club encounter. I said “Dates.”
If you’re an experience guy, you’ll read this article and think, “Yep, yep, yep, that’s right. Haha. So true! I’ve seen this, that…..” If you are not experienced, just look at it as an educational tool for identifying the archetypes of people you will come across in bars & night clubs. If you’re a girl with decent standards in men, you’ll have a good laugh because you have observed this. If you’re one of the women who has led the above life, slept with dudes to get free cocaine, you’ll be angry and upset. Instead of unleashing your anger on me, look at this as a fortuitous event. Maybe this article is a wake-up call to change your ways by changing your values & beliefs.
Great Article.
Man I just imagined the type of girl as I was reading it over and over.
Thank God for slutty girls :)
JS
LOL @ this article…. I know, right? ;)
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Hey Cam- you kinda brought up a factor that I hear little talked about from the community “gurus”- that is of drug use and alcohol abuse. A lot of the club girls are into drugs in some sort of way. i know guys who are “naturals” that get these girls partially because they’re into drugs as well. It seems like a lot of the community wont touch this subject, but a lot of the girls in the club scenes (not neccesarily all of the college girls in my town that is) are into drugs.. The community doesn’t really talk about how to respond to this, personally its been a factor in getting out there during the night. And yes, a lot of the girls on drugs are a lot looser than average. But if you see “regulars” at bars my experience has been basically a lot of them have a problem with alcohol and/or drugs. Its sad, but a lot of the girls that frequent these places are the same. Just thought I’d add this comment because I think this should be brought up more, especially for those of a somewhat healthier lifestyle
Hey Athlete,
Yeah, it’s the big elephant in the room nobody wants to mention.
It’s my strong belief that 80% of late-night bar regulars past their mid-20s aren’t really “Relationship Material.” You mentioned some of the reasons. This applies equally to males & females.
As for the drugs & alcohol issue, mainstream Dating-coaches won’t mention the drugs issue because :
A. It’s taboo
B. They’re somewhat clueless about it
These are people who mostly have spent time reading books about the topic, but haven’t spent enough time in bars, clubs, and so forth to interact with people to have a feel for what’s going on. In modern day urban jargon, they lack “Street credibility.”
Community-dating coaches, half of whom are now slick Internet-Marketers are trying to bullshit you into buying a new product from them about every three to 6 months. [Btw, Slick meaning full of shit.] They’d like to provide this illusion that somehow, through their system of some “PURE Game,” you can get ANY Girl you want. All because you’re armed with their newest system!
Well, when you throw, drugs, alcohol, lavish parties, money, prostitution, and the like into that mix, you completely distort what they’re trying to sell you. (every 3 to 6 months.)
Anyhow, if you go to nightclubs often (with astute observational skills), you’ll notice the, “Dark Side” element as well. There are variances depending on the culture and size of the city you live in as well.
Its relevant to the article above is that if a girl CAUSALLY mentions snorting blow at some party last weekend, you immediately know two things:
1. She sleeps around somewhat indiscriminately.
2. If you’re looking for someone to date, WALK Away ASAP. (If you are into a somewhat healthier lifestyle, that is.)
You’ll be forever engulfed in drama, outbursts, irrational mood swings, possible co-dependencies, except that VH-1 won’t be doing a “Celebrity-Rehab” to cover it.
Cameron
Cameron,
Great as usual, cheers!
As a personal data point, I notice the lack of promiscuous women who are non-toxic (as per your description). I’ve met only a couple of girls that slept around for pleasure, were honest about it and were not toxic. Are these women so rare?
I think you missed one of the bigger (and most obvious) signs that she’s promiscuous and looking for something that night – If she’s at the bar or club alone.
Great article, I enjoyed it.
-Jonny
LOL at this article, Every girl sleeps around, I mean right guys. Maybe not catholic girls…. but I doubt it.
Great Article…
Mojito,
I am not sure about how rare, but finding non-dramatic ones is tougher. The issue arises that most of us men think with our dicks as the saying goes.
You can’t always discern a woman’s intentions right off the bat, but then, you also are not going to wait around.
Some women have promiscuous sex for a multitude of reasons……. All except for the main one which is pleasure. These include: Feeling important, being accepted, temporary external validation, power to dangle that proverbial carrot in front a guy’s face, personal gain, and so forth.
But when it’s 2 A.M, and you’re leaving the bar with a girl, you’re not concerned with any of those. It’s only if you see her again that the above issues start to weigh down on you.
Knowing the “Toxcitiy” Signals allows you to identify the situation right off the bat.
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Jonny V,
Yes, definitely. I meant to put that one in there, but somehow forgot. As you said, it’s probably the most obvious. If she came to a late night bar/pub alone, she came to hook up.
To quote Joey from “Blossom”…WHOAAA!!
Great article, man! I mean…really…one of your best I have personally read.
And it’s oh so true!!
Keep up the great work, Cameron.
I’m here because I was looking up research about girls who have a lot of casual sex. I can honestly say that some of this is true, however, the intentions for women engaging in this behavior more often falls in line with what Cameron wrote:
“Some women have promiscuous sex for a multitude of reasons……. All except for the main one which is pleasure. These include: Feeling important, being accepted, temporary external validation…”
I can tell you from experience that the casual sex I’ve engaged in is from sheer lonliness. No, getting a pet doesn’t cut it. Lack of human interaction will drive people to behave erratically. Would I prefer that I be in a healthy relationship? Sure. Do I have any expectations from these men I sleep with. Absolutely not. Why would I?
At the end of the day all I really want to is to find a way to deal with my angst when it happens. I just happen to cope with it through sex. Fuck anti-depressants, etc. I’m a adult student, drug-free, drama free, support myself and am quite responsible. I’ve been looking for a better way for years.
Next time you see the slut, if you’re not too drunk, maybe you can remember that underneath all of her slutiness is a just a person like anyone else.
Hey Apple,
Thanks for the candid feedback from a female perspective.
Cameron
A key aspect of most ethical systems is to treat people as ends rather than as means. That is, you value the person because of their unique potentials, as a part of the diversity of your community, rather than attempting to determine the various uses to which they might be put that benefit you directly. That’s also an important aspect of maturity.
Think about that in the context of this article and also next time you see a woman who appears to lack self-respect. The meaning of instant karma is that you get to (or have to) be the person who does the things that you do.
Aree you open to a little constructive criticism? If youree not youre still guna get it.
From myyy point of view if someone has these theories and is aware people may disagree they’ll use the term generally ‘girls who smoke are generally promiscious’ for example. Due to the fact this isnt used it almost makes me dismiss the rest even though it may give some insight into promiscuity.
And FYI I’m a single twenty something female who finds it hard maintaining friendships with girls, I smoke and I genuinely don’t have drama but I am considerably promiscuous.
I thoroughly enjoyed the read though, learning about girls like me from the expert, obviously.
P.s. I do not lack self respect I infact have a very high feeling of self worth. You lot can’t overgeneralise like this it’s ridiculous. Blind leading the blind.
Dear “Haha”
I appreciate your reaffirming my points above.
Let’s see, you’re a girl in her 20s who is self-admittedly promiscuous. You also smoke, and can’t get along with other females.
You’re basically reinforcing the article, so what’s your point of contention??
take care
PS. I may have to add awfully poor grammar to the list above, however.
Interesting article. Definitely something I would have my young, impressionable girls read in order to avoid those trying to get a notch in his belt. I admit that there are a lot of girls out there these days that have no filters when it comes to sexual relations. These girls also suffer when trying to forge real relationships with men. They may act like shit but they do have emotions tucked down there really deep. I know these women and girls – many have been my friends over the years. They do not understand that our sexes are wired differently – the contemporary “woman” these days will almost flat out deny that biological differences in sexuality between men and women exists because of the environment that exists around her. Sad comment on our society. Guys, I know you want to score. Good on you. Please proceed – but with caution. Please. Remember that every girl that you have slept with has had a sexual history too and sometimes the chains are long and scary. STD’s are real and some are life threatening – a one night stand is not worth the risk of getting HIV. Honestly. Life is short so don’t make it shorter. Use a condom or two if this is what you need in your life. Please don’t take chances. And remember, these women, hosey or not, have feelings too. Somewhere. You just won’t know about it. Have some compassion. You can say no. It makes women crazy! Trust me. Nothing is hotter to a woman than a man who says, no.
Cameron,
how many of these tell-tale signs does the proverbial promiscuous girl must have or display in order to constitute a skank as you describe? Does she need to have 3 or more signs to be consider a skank or just only one sign? What about the phrases, “I’ve never had a one night stand?” and “I don’t sleep around. I need to get to know the guy”. Lately, I’ve been hearning and noticing this phrase with the girls I’ve been going out with? Your comments would be strongly appraciated. THANKS!!!
The best way to identify a promiscuous girl is by sleeping with her per se,there is no other way,habits and manerisms are transmited easily between a circle of friends.
Goddamn this article is ON POINT!!!!
Curious,
I don’t look for a certain number of signs. This will come with experience. Promiscuous girls often have similar mannerisms, body language, tone of voice, and conversational topics.
With experience, you’ll notice the patterns. These indicators I’ve mentioned help reaffirm what you already know.
Having said that, some of the signs have NEVER failed me. Girls who casually address their friends as bitches, or tell stories of drunken debauchery have been always promiscuous.
As for the phrases, “I’ve never had a one night stand,” it doesn’t really mean much without knowing the context of the conversation and the type of person you’re talking to. I wouldn’t even worry about it.
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The Man,
Glad you liked the article. I think any guy who has enough credible experience in clubs and bars will recognize some of these easily and have a good laugh.
Cameron
I just happened on your blog while researching Jung’s Archetypes. I just wanted to ask what you would think of a website or blog devoted to teaching women how to spot a man they could get money from? You did some research, and you learned something-what you haven’t done is better the world in anyway. Teaching men that already have an advantage in the world how to further victimize women must make you feel so powerful and proud. I am a ENFJ, I am also an Alpha-female. I respond to the nobility in men, and can spot their manipulation a mile away. Here’s a thought, why don’t you teach men to be honest upfront, and not give them the advantage of spotting easy women, because a great deal of these women are “slutty” because they lack intelligence, self-esteem, and have been abused from the get go. Those same women you describe wake up and hate themselves and men just a little more every time. Stop being an enabler. If nothing else you won’t help men who are incapable of doing their own research procreate, and maybe the world’s overall I.Q. will increase because the stupid will be weeded out!
Hi Alpha-Ann,
Whoa, whoa, easy Tiger!
I could see where your concern is coming from, but wow, is it misguided! You’re misguided in that you think the women in the post above are the “victims.” That alone tells me you have NOT spent much time in nightclubs. If you’re really area an alpha-female that you’ve proclaimed, that just confirms it. Alpha-females don’t enjoy frequenting such place anyway in my experience.
So I’ll address your complaint just in case other misguided girls come across my article.
Most of my blog readership constitutes of intellectual dudes looking to improve a bit in their social lives, (and they don’t have any advantages in the nightclub scene). In fact, they’re the disadvantaged. The blog article provides a road map on how to recognize promiscuous woman, (whether you’re looking to get laid or you’re looking to AVOID such types.)
And by the way, seriously, where did you get “manipulation” from on this post? You’re taking the blog article really personally, and you’re upset, most likely because you’re bringing your own baggage into it.
See the article for what it is. It does NOT really affect you personally. It simply deals with a segment of society and human beings. I simply provided a road map to recognizing the signs and signals in the above article.
Cameron
I didn’t believe this article until I read apple’s post, she said she has casual sex and hit’s three of the “things to look for” two sentences: mentions drugs, claims to be drama free, and TRYING to change, yep, article covered it :)
APPLE:
Fuck anti-depressants, etc. I’m a adult student, drug-free, drama free, support myself and am quite responsible. I’ve been looking for a better way for years.
“Aree you open to a little constructive criticism? If youree not youre still guna get it.
From myyy point of view if someone has these theories and is aware people may disagree they’ll use the term generally ‘girls who smoke are generally promiscious’ for example. Due to the fact this isnt used it almost makes me dismiss the rest even though it may give some insight into promiscuity.
And FYI I’m a single twenty something female who finds it hard maintaining friendships with girls, I smoke and I genuinely don’t have drama but I am considerably promiscuous.
I thoroughly enjoyed the read though, learning about girls like me from the expert, obviously.
P.s. I do not lack self respect I infact have a very high feeling of self worth. You lot can’t overgeneralise like this it’s ridiculous. Blind leading the blind.”
She is right though, also coming from a girl’s point of view :)
You don’t have to have low self esteem to sleep around, boys do it all the time and nobody will say anything about that! Some people may just not be ready to settle down or want to ‘get it out of their system’ while they are young?
Some of the things you mentioned here are actually in sync with studies. For instance, researchers found out that women who smoke tend to be promiscuous. Another one said people who are way too social and go around hugging people (ex: awwww, I’m seeing you after so long, give me a huuuuuug) sleep around more than other normal human beings. Notice the example I used. You have it up here. Its called singing the words.
Shiby,
Awesome. Any chance I can get “The Skank Tonality” entered into legitimate university psychology textbooks? hehehe
Describes me to a t!!! I dont want to be like this but its a coping strategy for me. I am not heartless, i have feelings, i am not a bad person. I drink and do drugs to fill up the emptiness i feel. Dress up to get attention and feel like i’m worth a damn.
I fliirt with men to get cocaine for which cravings come after consuming alcohol, and often sleep with them because i feel obligated to do so and have trouble saying no. The shame and guilt after a night like his is tremendous. The first drink is what starts the downward spiral. On the street you would see me as a classy lady but in the club its a completely different story. For me its finding coping strategies and new ways to make me feel good about myself rather than seeking reassurance from others or using substances to dumb feelings of self hatred. If your one of these girls go get seek help because it can get better:). If your a man who chooses to use the information in this article to get laid.. Gfy!!!
More advice..Stop searching for stimulus in clubs.. Find it in your relationships with yourself and others… In healthy activities which are much more satisfying and intillectually stimulating.
I’m rather promiscuous and will gladly admit to it. I don’t drink/smoke/do drugs in any shape or form…I just REALLY love sex. It feels so amazing!!! It’s a great workout. I think the reason I sleep around has to do with the fact that I’m too focused on my career to be in a relationships. I’m kind of selfish and independent and only see men as being good for sex and maybe sometimes to keep my company. I do have female friends as well as male friends. Male friends probably more. The weird thing about me is that I’m also a nerd….I like to spend my friday or sat nights reading books if I’m not fucking anybody. Another thing I like about sleeping around is the ego boost and beating men at their own game. Its like the guy expects me to get attached and call him afterward but honestly I could careless about him after we are done…I don’t even wanna see the guy again.
I’m not insecure the reason I know is b/c if a guy treats me like shit I walk away immediately w/o a backward look. I don’t put up w/ bs …also I don’t get jealous easily never thought another sexually provocative woman is a “slut” or a “skank” I think all women are beautiful and princesses and deserve to be treated right….. So yeah. I mean, I know I’m probably not dating material right now but it’s not so bad being promiscuous. I feel like I’m in control of men and it feels pretty good. :-)
This shit is GOLD!
Women complain about how unfair it is that men are called studs when they sleep around, yet women get called sluts for the exact same behavior. It’s actually not a double standard though, because both scenarios are pretty different in terms of circumstances and consequences. I can think of at least four crucial differences:
First, sleeping around is easier for women. Regardless of how you feel about promiscuity, we can all agree that a guy who manages to rack up a lot of sexual partners has to have some skills. It’s challenging for men to rack up partners, even for men with low standards. A man needs social intelligence, interpersonal skills, persistence, thick skin, and plain old dumb luck. For women, though, a vagina and a pulse is often enough. Whenever an accomplishment requires absolutely no challenge, no one respects it. It’s just viewed as a lack of self-discipline. People respect those who accomplish challenging feats, while they consider those who overindulge in easily obtained feats as weak, untrustworthy or flawed.
Second, women have potential to do more harm by sleeping around than men do. Say a man sleeps around with a bunch of different women. He’s definitely doing harm to these women if he pretends to be monogamous while sleeping around. He may cause them emotional pain by his promiscuity. He may cause unwanted pregnancy. He may spread VD. When women sleep around, however, they can cause not only all these same ill effects but one additional crucial ill effect: the risk of unknown parentage.
If one guy sleeps around with five women, each of whom is monogamous to him, and they all get pregnant, it’s a safe bet as to who the father is. If you reverse genders and have one woman who sleeps around with five men who are monogamous to her, and she gets pregnant, the father could be any of the five men. And if one of those men is tricked into raising a baby that isn’t his, he’s investing time, money, estate and property to provide for a child that isn’t carrying his DNA into the next generations, a costly mistake from an evolutionary standpoint.
Our two basic primal drives are to survive and to reproduce, and promiscuous women traditionally make it hard for a man to know for sure whether he is truly reproducing or is secretly raising another man’s child. Men stand a lot more to lose from promiscuous women than the other way around. And it’s no picnic for the child to not know who his real father is either. And it’s a mess for the women carrying on the deception as well. Or just look at any random episode of the Maury show if you don’t believe me.
Since the DNA test and the birth control pill didn’t exist until recently, there were no reliable ways to prevent pregnancy or prove parentage for most of human history. For this reason society developed a vested interest in preventing promiscuity among women, and society accomplished this by creating the slut stigma. And even though the creation of birth control and DNA tests have made this less of a risk than the past, longstanding traditions and customs are not easy for society to break so the slut stigma remains.
Third, men have evolutionary reasons to be programmed to sleep around more. A lot of women roll their eyes when they hear that men are “hard-wired” to sleep around. But from an evolutionary standpoint, it makes total sense. If the two primal drives of humans are to survive and to reproduce, nothing leads to maximum reproduction like one man sleeping with multiple women. If one women sleeps with many men in a nine month period, she can only get pregnant just once. Nine months of rampant promiscuity would give the same result as nine months of highly sexed monogamy: one pregnancy. Now if one man sleeps with many women during a nine month period, you can get many pregnancies during that period. The more women he sleeps with, the more possible pregnancies.
So from an evolutionary standpoint, there are concrete advantages to men being promiscuous compared to women being promiscuous. This doesn’t mean that women have evolved to be strictly monogamous. Women have evolved to be somewhat promiscuous too, something men badly underestimate. However they haven’t evolved to be as rampantly promiscuous as men.
Fourth, promiscuity poses more risk to women than to men. A woman has more to lose from choosing bad sex partners than a man does. She’s the one who gets stuck with going through a pregnancy and taking care of a baby alone if she chooses a deadbeat. For this reason, promiscuous women throughout history have historically been viewed as being a vastly more irresponsible risk takers than promiscuous men, who rightly or wrongly could always run away from the consequences of unwanted pregnancies easier than women could.
These four reasons explain why the longstanding tradition came about of men being rewarded for multiple partners while women get socially punished for similar promiscuity. Of course all this is gradually changing, but we’re up against millenia of evolutionary and cultural conditioning here, so don’t expect any dramatic overnight reversals.
Understand that I’m just explaining why the double standard came into existence and not condoning or condemning it. This is not an attempt to pass judgment or be self-righteous in any way. It’s just an explanation of why the two conditions are treated differently.
Girls everywhere and all you emasculated “men” who are trying so hard to be politically correct at the expense of you maleness, listen up.
Men and women are equals. This does not mean that they are equal in every single thing they do. For example, men are, on average, physically stronger than women. It is much easier for a semi attractive (even a 6/10) woman to go out and get laid. The same cannot be said about men. Men have to work at it, have some skill (game) and thereby get a woman to sleep with them. It is a LOT harder for an equally attractive man to get women than it is the other way around. This is one of reasons behind why we, as a society, naturally celebrate men who are successful in bedding multiple women; while at the same time shame women who bed multiple men.
Let us briefly visit the topic of virginity from both perspectives. Virginity in a man is not a desirable state or label when it comes to an attribute that the opposite sex wants. This is because he has obviously not been preselected by other women. However, female virginity is not looked at negatively in the least by men. If she looks decent, no man cares if the girl is a virgin or not. In fact, a female virgin is often wanted more.
Now don’t get me wrong, men LOVE sluts. We will never turn down an opportunity to sleep with a good looking slut. Partly because she’s good in bed, partly because it’s sex. But any decently intelligent, self-respecting man will know that it is a terrible idea to emotionally involve himself (i.e. date) a slutty girl. That would be a very dumb move. Why would any man want to get emotionally involved with a girl who’s had 15+ sexual partners? We would just be setting ourselves up for failure. There are many nice worthy girls out there who don’t have daddy issues and haven’t slept with an entire fraternity house. But, by all means, fvck the brains out of sluts in the meanwhile.
Most guys can detect when a girl is a slut by the first few dates and by what he hears about the girl from other people and from the girl herlself. We put this information together and figure out if she is dating material or not. If not, I like most guys, will still go in for the prize but have no intention of following through with dating the dirty little tart.
To put it simply, a lock that can be opened by many keys is a useless lock and of little worth. But a key that can open many locks is a master key and is valuable.
thanks cameron. now i am sure i need to move on and leave my crush alone. no wonder i always have this bad feeling.
80% of what you said is true when i think about her. i better find a healthier relationship.
my only regret is to found this article on 2012.
as i read this my jaw literally dropped. b cause word for word i was reading about myself. AND IM A VIRGIN. this is bs. to assume a girls a slut b cause of her slang or habbits is completely ignorant .
It is really annoying when i read this articles. First because it separates women into “two kinds of women” (classic article written by a dude with a madonna-whore complex) and second because it perpetuates AGES of biases, stereotypes and evolutionary pseudo-science dressed up as real science.
There are not two kinds of women, and men have GOT to stop looking at women like “virgin or sluts”. First of all, every woman has a little bit of innocence and a little bit of sluttiness to her. This is the most important thing to understand, and even though it is a simple concept most men dont get it. I have been a faithful girlfriend for years and years. I have also been the girl that has walked into a bar and had a one night stand. Does having a one night stand make me incapable of having a relationship? No. Does being a relationship “girl” make me incapable of having raucous, wild sex with someone I don’t know, or with someone i do know? No.
Now it might be easier for men to think that they can ‘classify’ women into two types of women, and this will effectively make them invulnerable to pain and able to judge what’s coming. I’ve got news for them though, it’s not happening. You can’t pidgeon hole people that way. That “relationship” girl you think you have under your wing could, at any point become (if she isn’t already) a big fucking whore. On the other hand, that big fucking whore you think you have pegged so astutely could be a very devoted, monogamous person (or even someone who is not half as whorish as you think she is) given the right person, environment, situation.
Now is this news unsettling for men? Sure. Sucks to know that you can’t predict or classify the big bad world of women. It sucks to know it, but it isn’t changing anything. Welcome to LIFE.
Of course, everything I’m saying will go into one ear and out another when it comes down to the ability of male chauvinists, feminists, and idiotic dudes looking to get laid alike, because people will stop at nothing to act like small-brained duds when it come down to the true ability to see people in multi-faceted ways. Oh, and because people are retarded.
aaaaaab,
Perhaps you misunderstood the point of the article even though I think the title is clear.
It’s designed for my blog readers: Guys who may go to a bar & meet someone like you who creates DRAMA. Having read my article, They know that you’ll (Self-admittedly) will have one night stands with them easily. Nothing more. Nothing less
As for categorizing women: Nowhere in this blog are there just two types. I have written extensive articles on that which you’ll find under “Archetypes of females” here: http://attractwomenanywhere.com/blog/starter-guide/
So, stop taking stuff personally. Go read and learn something, instead of ranting after reading one article.
Thanks for your contribution.
Although your article is amusing to read and quite shocking, I think u forgot one point.
A woman can be in a relationship for a long time, get burned by her boyfriend numerous cheating escapades and the finally decided, You know what! I am going to get back at him and go out with the girls and get back at him!
That does not make her a slut! It’s just payback!
What about those apples!
I find your statement of “if she smokes, she pokes” very generalizing, just because a woman smokes does not make her promiscuous. I was a promiscuous teenager (I did not smoke yet), and every promiscuous act I committed was done under the influence of alcohol the reason being I was raped at the age of 14 which was also how I lost my virginity… So next time you want to “run just as fast as you can” remember that you never know what that person has been through in their life and you could be the person that makes her realize she doesn’t need to use her lady parts to get what she is missing in her life, like Apple said they are people too.
Also, I HATE drama. My boyfriends sister is the epitome of drama, does that make me promiscuous?
This is retarded, seriously. I have drama in my life I don’t sleep around. Some of my friends talk like Bally girls and they don’t sleep around. I know chicks who party all the time & don’t sleep around. This is lame. I’m going to search someplace else who knows what the fuck their talking about. Adios
First, great article Cameron.
Second, taking advice on women, from women, is a sure fire way to send yourself in circles. So I’d like to encourage other men reading this to stick to the advice given by Cameron and other guys.
The tips and advice in this article are spot on. Unfortunately for me, most of these traits applied to my ex-wife, and yes she was promiscuous.
Roughly 50% of these applied to her, for those wanting to know how many is too many. The way I view her now is definitely as a woman to just have fun with. No more no less. And I’m sure all her male “friends” look at her the same way.
So guys learn from my mistake and date/marry a woman with these traits at your own peril. Now, just because a woman has ONE of these traits that doesn’t mean she’s bad. But it does mean you need to keep your eyes open and slow the train down a bit if you’re looking for a relationship. That’s all.
Women displaying too many of these traits tend to be emotionally unstable and are in a search for attention that they probably didn’t get growing up from their fathers. (this applied to my ex-wife)
Regardless of WHY these women do what they do, this is DRAMA that as single men you want to avoid at all costs! If you see these traits, she better be hot, and sex only should be your goal.
Admittedly, my lack of experience with women prior to getting married played a role in me picking the wrong woman, but that doesn’t change the fact that the traits in this article are spot on.
Fellas, listen to this man because he knows what he’s talking about, especially if you lack experience in the game.
Hahahahahah it’s so funny!
The girl you described is me!!
First of all, never take advice about women, from women.
I don’t want to offend, but they just generally don’t kbow what they want or they change it constantly.
Second, awesome post man. My tpointsy slutty ex girlfriends fit into like 90% of these promiscuous points.
Third, ladies, he isn’t saying “If girls do these things, they are sluts.” He’s saying if girls do these things, the odds of them being slutty are more likely. As do all these points stereotype in a sense, you have to understand that they may not be 100% accurate, but also that these stereotypes exist for a reason. No disrespect to the ladies.
You are so right – I made the huge mistake to marry a drama queen. Later I learned she had been VERY promiscuous before I met her – more than 25 men in five years… After 20 years of marriage with three kids – all of sudden she leaves. Taking children away as well as half of my earnings. Well done, Franky-Boy… My life is ruined. As it turns out, she has enjoyed multiple one night stands during our marriage. I worked and made money, she traveled for “charity”, fucking other men. More or less randomly. I had no clue. Let me tell you: fuck them if you meet them (promiscuous women), but don’t ever spend a thought on investing a dime on them. No matter what’s politically correct: it’s YOUR life.
Wow.
I’m a major slut and I purposefully don’t do any of this because I like to play the innocent card. I’m a major slut who sleeps around with all these hot top-notch men that fall in love with me afterwards. I LOVE sex, and I get bored with 1 guy after, say, 6 months roughly. I don’t smoke, drink or swear and I get along very well with women. But, I’m a major slut and I like it. :-)
So, yes. Even confident, attractive, young, educated and self-reliant women can be sluts. Some of us actually really REALLY like sex, especially with newbies! Oh well.
Good luck out there guys! We’re all pure evil.
xxx
I disagree with the first sign mention the ,” has a lot of guy friends”. Most girls who have a lot of guy friends are usually the more shy type who need all those guy friends for self validation. The ones with all the girlfriends can be more promiscuous because for girlfriends equals for opportunity to sleep with their girlfriend’s boyfriend . This comes from personal experience…
More*
So, essentially if I’m outside at a bar having a cigarette and a guy walks up to talk to me, I should tell him to fuck off as he’s trying to use me.
Thanks a million!
Wow. I stumbled across this blog by accident whilst looking for a replacement word for a male who is promiscuous. Jeremy, whilst some of your points could be deemed valid or at least considered, your last comment is appallingly discriminatory:
“To put it simply, a lock that can be opened by many keys is a useless lock and of little worth. But a key that can open many locks is a master key and is valuable”.
Comments and mentalities such as these allow some men to justify abuse. You should be ashamed of that comment as its underlying meaning is very inappropriate.
Men – brush up on your emotional intelligence skills, it will benefit you far greater than this blog. Its what people do not say that will indicate if you have any chance of a one night stand, not what is mentioned above – I could imagine that you would only find such a person in an insane asylum and even then saying that is an insult to such individuals.
Whilst many people are filled with contradictions, this post just does not make sense. Generally a woman who is a ‘drama queen’, who is fake,dumb and says ‘I know, right !?!’, is much less likely to only be friends with men and to openly admit that she is a bitch. This goes against normal social convention. Drinking, smoking and drugs would only have any form of connection of there were excessive patterns and given that a lot of people binge drink these days, it would be near impossible to connect that pattern. What you are saying relates to manic depression or bipolar disorder which can cause promiscuity during the manic stage. Look it up if you are lost.
My advice: take the time to learn how to read people, as each person is unique and you may find that someone who would not normally have a one night stand, might be in the same mind-frame of trying it as you. You could miss that person if you don’t take the time to really see what people are saying.
If you have zero experience in reading people, look up articles online for reputable sources, such as educational institutions and take the time to analyse yourself as well. How do you come across? Even the most desperate person is not going to be interested if you come across as a sleaze,arrogant,desperate etc. Make yourself attractive (on the outside by being clean & on the inside by being confident, happy & fun), be talkative,smile and don’t seem like its your mission to get laid (it is a massive turn-off for most people).
With relation to the numerous comments on the matter; even if a woman has had sex with many different men, this does not mean that she will cheat on her husband, that she will divorce you & leave you high and dry, that she is cheap, a drug addict, an alcoholic,stupid or not career orientated. In fact, most of the women I know who have had multiple partners are the exact opposite of this.
Goodluck
BTW Alpha-Ann,I love what you’ve said. I think it is appropriate that men understand that this analysis of social norms has many flaws. I am an INFJ who goes out to clubs to socialise as I just enjoy talking to different people. I absolutely hate getting hit on in clubs like a piece of meat but unlike most people, I make it very clear I am not interested in anything from the moment I am approached.I will talk to anyone though who is nice and doesn’t look at me like a piece of meat. Just remember guys, don’t be sleazy in your approach, even if you are only seeking a one night stand. Treat everyone with respect and try to be interested in the person, regardless of what you are seeking.
thanks for this articla writter…insightful artical.. i will enjoy testing ur theroys… and yes i hate people with reading comprehention issues.. or people who freak out if they see anything that shows a female in a bad light.. very pathetic of them.